"Why are they fighting me? Don't they know I am for them?"

Parents sometimes wonder this as their children resist their best efforts to give them direction. What is the cause of this conflict? One main cause is the fact that it can appear that parents and growing children have competing goals. The parent's goal is often "safety." The child's goal is often "experience/growth." Safety requires risk management, and experience/growth requires taking risks. In reality, both safety and experience are really just means to a greater end.